"Old" is when...
...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.
...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
...you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot
... an "all nighter" means not getting up to go to the bathroom.