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This image from the 1940's just won't do for the modern Redneck. If you think you got a better one, E-mail me!

You're Might Be a Redneck If ...

1. More than one living relative is named after a southern Civil War general.

2. Your front porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs.

3. You've ever used lard in bed. hahahahaha!! This was a friends idea idea to put in, not mine honestly!!!

4. Your home has more miles on it than your car.

5. You think that spam on a saltine is an hors d'ouevre.

6. There is a stuffed possum (sic) anywhere in your house.

7. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

8. Fewer than half of your cars run.

9. Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her @%*.

10. The primary color of your car is "bondo."

11. You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

12. You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

13. Your family tree doesn't fork.

14. Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

15. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.

17. You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

18. The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade or the creek.

19. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

20. Your brother-in-law is your uncle.

21. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

22. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of tabasco sause.

23. The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

24. You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

25. You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

26. You use the term `over yonderŽ more than once a month.

27. The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."

28. Your mother keeps a chaw (spit) cup on the ironing board.

29. You think a tube-top is appropriate attire for a wedding.

30. Your favorite christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

31. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

32. The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, S#@*head?"

33. You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

34a. You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.

34b. You think that Preparation-H is a miracle drug.

35. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin?" (If they respond with the same, then they're rednecks too!)

Funny Folks

Funny Folks

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