Being called a Newbie is a MAJOR insult.
There is absolutely no interesting chat in any room so you're really bored.
You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
You double click your TV remote.
You can now type over 70 wpm.
You think about starting a 12-step recovery group for webbies.
You check your E-mail and forget you have real mail (a.k.a. snail mail).
You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room.
You stop speaking in full sentences.
You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to check your mail while there you just wanted to see who was online.
You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to-face.
You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.
When meeting a stranger, you ask them for an age/sex/location check.
You understand the humor in all of this.
When someone online says BRB, gotta go pee, you ask them to go for you, and think they can.