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LET ME TALK TO YOU A MINUTE

Its about this Hillbilly stuff. Boy, minute , they think your hillbilly they start to talk different.

Got to tell you,(he, he) me and my friends have just got to rub it in. Man, John's a DOCTOR, Bubba owns race cars (THAT WIN) and I got enough to get by, but we love to give it to em.

Thought you might enjoy it to.

So if your out to RILE those hottie tottie big city folks heres how to do it.


Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left."

Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak slower so you can understand what they're saying.

When they talk about how great it is in the city, tell them "Ole Bessie's ready when you are."

Refer to every soft drink as a Coke; every motorcycle as a "Honder," etc.

Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a rucus.

Offer to send them a bottle of fresh air.

Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names (e.g. Lisa Marie, Jim Bob, etc.).

Address all males as "son" and all females as "little lady."

Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: "It's "pee-can.""

Put Tabasco on everything.

For New Yorkers: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say, "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!," say "Well, I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . .Banana ones.

Name all of your children "Bubba."

Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

"Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.

Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin to do" something.

Tell them you don't have an accent; they do.

Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations.

Ask them if its still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend. Though this one dont work for you northern rednecks (grin) less'n you dont mind snow in your car.....

Call 'em Cityfied. Works every time.


Funny Folks
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