"You Might Be A Redneck If..."

 
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.

You can't take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

There's an expired license plate hanging on your living room wall.

You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.

You think "six to ten pounds" on the side of the Pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.

Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.

You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.

You have a refrigerator just for beer.

Your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year."

You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather than hem them.

You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.

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