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Windows 98 - Southern Style

A note to all concerning Windows 98:

 It has come to our attention that a few copies of the SOUTHERN EDITION of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside the South!!! If you have one of the SOUTHERN EDITIONS you may need some help understanding the commands.?
The Southern edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.

 FIRST - It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee  superimposed on a Confederate flag.

 SECOND - It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.


 Also note that the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse.

 My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption,

 Dialup Networking is called Good OLE' Boys,

 Floppies are them little OLE plastic disc thangs,

 Other features, instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. We note that some common program messages have been modified to communicate more clearly:

 ?OK = ats aww-right
 ?cancel = hail no
 ?reset = awa shoot
 ?yes = shore
 ?no = Naaaa
 ?find = hunt-fer it
 ?go to = over yonder
 ?back = back yonder
 ?help = hep me out here
 ?stop = ternit off
 ?start = crank it up
 ?settings = sittins
 ?programs = stuff at does stuff
 ?documents = stuff I done done

 Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Southern edition.? You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.


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