Yankees--I don't know they all
look alike to me
If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or
her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being
right.
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not
mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it
snows.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic.
Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a
12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of
their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in
the same store.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth
cooking, let alone eating.
Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural.
"All y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are
you?"
People walk slower here.
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone.
They don't understand you either.
Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid
here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch
this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last
words he will ever say.
The winter wardrobe you always brought out in
September can wait until November.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of
even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your
presence is required at the local grocery store. It
does not matter if you need anything from the store,
it is just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When
you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in
front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in
mind that the dish cost considerably more than the
trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.
Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce
have a lot in common. In either case, you know
someone is going to lose a trailer. Florida is not
considered a southern state.
You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless
you already know the position of key hills, trees and
rocks, you're better off trying to find it
yourself.
26 Tips for Yankees moving
South